this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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