just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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