my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize