I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize