I got chris browned last night
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There r osticjed everywhere
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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