Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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