He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
