Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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