I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
