4 words: hood of his car
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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