So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
