i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize
