we're blogging at a bar
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
