We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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