also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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