Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize