Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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