i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
you made out with another girl for some wings
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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