you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
