Your face is a jimmy john
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
