To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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