nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
