i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
