Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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