apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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