the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize