I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
