i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
