he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
