Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
