please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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