Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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