she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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