Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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