No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
