I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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