..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
