Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
