Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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