Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
