We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
