3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
