So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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