Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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