Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
