apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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