i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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