Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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