So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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