right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
