So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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