That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
