Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Boobs speak an international language.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
