So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
