____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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