apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
