i barfeds in our rink
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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