i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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