okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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