I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
