Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
